It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
