I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
