Don't you send me to vm
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
