Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
