Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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