It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize