Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
