Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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