dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
