Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
