Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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