I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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