Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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