eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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