The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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