Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
