When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
