People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
