I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
