Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Randomize