a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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