someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
