After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
