Sponge bath it is.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
