I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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