So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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