i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
