I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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