They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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