Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
