this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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