don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
