last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
