the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
