I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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