You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
