I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
