OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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