Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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