i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
