So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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