She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
