That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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