i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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