Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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