wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize