It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
