dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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