If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize