I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
