Umm I'm too high to move.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize