so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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