I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need water and some morals
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