Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
