quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
sarcasm needs its own font
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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