It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
babies were throwing up all over the place
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
