I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
