Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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