i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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